Domestic Violence Needs to Be Kept in Criminal Courts Because it is a Crime

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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Claudine Dombrowski

Domestic Violence Needs to Be Kept in Criminal Courts Because it is a Crime « RightsForMothers.com

Source: justice4mothers.wordpress.com

Filed under: Activism, Assault on your children’s mother, Children and Domestic Violence, Children who witness abuse, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Relations, Domestic Violence, Family Court Reform, Family …

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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“If I Killed You, I’d Get The Kids”: Women’s Survival, Child Custody, and Abuse

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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August 28, 2009  by RightsForMothers.com (another BADASS)

 

“If I Killed You, I’d Get The Kids”: Women’s Survival, Child Custody, and Abuse

 

Here is an important paper by Colleen Varcoe and Lori G. Irwin titled “If I Killed You, I’d Get the Kids”: Women’s Survival and Protection Work with Child Custody and Access in the Context of Woman Abuse.” I am constantly amazed by men’s rights advocates, father’s rights folks and shared parenting people that “claims” of abuse by women in a relationship are generally false when so there so many women and children dying. They want to make it a “women’s” or “feminist” issue, when it is really a human rights issue. They try and draw the attention away from all the abusive fathers getting custody of children from moms with claims of so-called “parental alienation syndrome” and claim that it is the “radical” women’s groups that are debunking it. I find that interesting and their credibility lacking if they call the American Judge’s Association, the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, and the National District Attorney’s Association “radical women’s groups.” They have all discredited claims of “parental alienation” and “parental alienation syndrome.”

Here is an except of Varcoe’s and Irwins’s paper:

Child custody and access was the central concern for women with children who participated in Project Violence Free (PVF), a three-year study of formal systems’ (criminal justice, social assistance, and health care) responses to abuse by intimate partners. Although we proposed to study women’s experience with these specific “systems,” the women saw their experiences as similar across services, and talked about “the system” as a monolithic entity. The overarching theme identified through analysis of interview and documentary evidence from the women was that women struggle continuously to limit the violence in their lives and to “make the system work.” We identified four critical sites in which women did most of this work.

For all the women, economic survival was a central part of their struggle. For most women, seeking protection, particularly, but not exclusively, from the justice system, was part of their experience. For women new to Canada, working with issues of immigration overshadowed their other efforts. For the women with children, issues of child custody and access dominated and shaped their experiences.

This article focuses on child custody and access as one of the sites of women’s work in dealing with intimate partner violence. It is based on interview data from the women who were mothers and focus group data from service providers who work with such women as background. The interviews revealed a pervasive tension between obligations to maintain contact between children and their fathers, and obligations to protect children from harm. The purpose of this article is to describe how women work to negotiate formal systems in relation to child custody and access in the context of woman abuse, and how aspects of such systems are problematic. Our argument is that child custody and access processes provide opportunities for abusive partners to exert power and control over their partners and children, and that these opportunities are often supported by policies and practices of service providers.

To read the rest of “If I Killed You, I’d Get the Kids”: Women’s Survival and Protection Work with Child Custody and Access in the Context of Woman Abuse” by Colleen Varcoe and Lori G. Irwin, please click here.

Filed under: Child Custody, Child Custody Battle, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Relations, Domestic Violence, Family Court Reform, Family Courts, Family Rights, Human Rights,Husbands who murder wives, Intimate Partner Assault, Murdered Mothers, Parental Alienation Syndrome, parental alienation — justice4mothers @ 11:16 am

Technorati Tags: Kids,Women,Survival,Child,Custody,Abuse,August,RightsForMothers,BADASS,Here,paper,Varcoe,Lori,Irwin,Protection,Work,Context,Woman,rights,father,folks,relationship,children,human,attention,alienation,syndrome,American,Judge,Association,National,Council,Juvenile,Court,Judges,Medical,Psychological,District,Attorney,Irwins,Project,Violence,Free,justice,assistance,health,partners,Although,services,system,theme,analysis,Canada,immigration,efforts,article,data,background,tension,purpose,relation,argument,Battle,Domestic,Relations,Reform,Courts,Husbands,Intimate,Partner,Assault,Parental,fathers,systems,responses,providers,obligations,aspects,policiesNote: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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Wear RED Stop the Violence Against Women of Color October 31, 2009

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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Why Are You Wearing RED?

The Color Spectrum Teaches Us About Justice

 http://documentthesilence.wordpress.com/wear-red/

 

 

On September 20^th, I wore black. I wore black, as many Black people did, in solidarity with the Jena 6, who are quickly becoming the 21^st century’s Scottsboro Boys. I am wearing black, even though I have the profound urge and desire to wear red, a Maoist, seductive, bold red – on this, the possible new dawn, of what Al Sharpton has begun calling the “Civil Rights Movement of the 21^st Century.” I am wearing black, even as I have conflicting thoughts and emotions. I am eager for this moment of solidarity – a chance to acknowledge the injustice of inequitable sentencing. So, for today, it is my lipstick that is crimson.

But on Wednesday October 31, 2007 I will be wearing red; that uncomfortably womanish shade of scarlet that suggests a certain looseness, appreciation of blues, likelihood to walk the streets at night, willingness to be loud, dedication to self, and a deep refusal to be rendered invisible. Red, the color so many of us are told to avoid, because of its Western association, with the marked, fallen woman; red, that rich, rapturous, full, so-bright-it-looks-as-if-it’s-had-a-good-meal ruby color, red so intense, it’s nearly purple. Yes, that color – that’s the one I want to mark my outrage at the rape and torture of Megan Williams, a 20-year old woman in West Virginia; the sexual assault of a Haitian woman and her son in West Palm Beach, Florida; and the continued violence visited upon women of color.

Red is the color I choose, because I am not interested in being invisible. I am not interested in being forgotten. I am not interested in being a sidebar conversation. I am not interested, because I will be the women, who walks into the room wearing the color red, who makes the conversation stop, and gently suggests another topic – the role of violence and abuse in women’s lives perhaps? I am interested in being seen. I am interested in hearing what communities of color, so recently outfitted in black to mark the injustice done to the Jena 6, will do to mark the violence and injustice done to Megan Williams.

For me, the color red is about boldness. It is a vibrant color that cannot be ignored. Beyond the pink of feminism, and even the purple of womanism, red is a color that says, “stop and see.” On October 31^st, we ask women of color and their allies, to break the silence and invisibility surrounding violence against women of color, by choosing to be seen. By choosing to be vocal, to be brave, to be bold and work to stop violence against women.

 

wear_red_flyer.pdf

Technorati Tags: Wear,Stop,Violence,Against,Women,Color,Octber,Spectrum,About,Justice,September,Black,Jena,Scottsboro,Maoist,Sharpton,Civil,Rights,Movement,Century,moment,injustice,lipstick,October,blues,dedication,self,refusal,Western,woman,meal,Megan,Williams,West,Virginia,Haitian,Palm,Beach,Florida,conversation,room,topic,role,Beyond,allies,emotions,streetsNote: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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ACTION ALERT! Need New York Court watchers (another court napped child) October 19, 2009

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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http://documentthesilence.wordpress.com/

 

If you are in the New York  Area, please show your support for Angeline’s case by coming to her next family court hearing on October 19, 2009:

The hearing will be held on October 19, 2009 at 11:00 am.

Location: Courtroom E-123, Annex Building
Justice Fernando M. Camacho
125-01 Queens Boulevard
Kew Gardens, NY 11415

Click here for directions!

If you can make it to Angeline’s next court hearing on October 19, 2009, please let us know by emailing us at:

WheresAniysah_Campaign@yahoo.com

 

Where’s Aniysah?

In Uncategorized on July 26, 2009 at 9:19 pm

On March 3rd, 2009 Aniysah was taken from her mother’s arms and has only seen her one time since!  This is a story about the (in)justice system and how it fails brown women and children daily. Please help Angeline get her daughter back. Please help this story be but a painful memory.

Where’s Aniysah? Facts

Where’s Aniysah? Updates

Where’s Aniysah? Timeline

Where’s Aniysah? What You Can Do to Help!

Technorati Tags: ACTION,ALERT,York,Court,October,Area,Angeline,Location,Courtroom,Annex,Justice,Fernando,Camacho,Queens,Boulevard,Gardens,Click,WheresAniysah_Campaign,Where,Aniysah,March,system,children,daughter,memory,Facts,Timeline,HelpNote: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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Custodial dad charged with trying to drown daughter (Conway, Arkansas)

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights – A Human Rights Issue.

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Well thank goodness she lived. And went home to Mom.

 

http://ozarksfirst.com/content/fulltext/?cid=179932

Father Charged With Trying to Drown Daughter
Reported by:

Thursday, Aug 27, 2009 @04:07am

(Conway, AR) — A man from Clinton, Arkansas is out on bond after allegedly almost drowning his eight year old daughter.

He claims God asked him to do it.

Van Buren police say Samuel Merryman’s daughter was held under water until she blacked out.

He is charged with endangering a minor, kidnapping and battery.

"I just can’t imagine that your dad holding you down by your neck under water somebody that’s supposed to protect you. I just can’t imagine the way that felt," said Kristy Merryman, the girl’s mother.

Merryman had custody of his children when the incident occurred.

His ex-wife has now been granted temporary custody.

Technorati Tags: Custodial,daughter,Conway,Arkansas,Father,Drown,Clinton,Buren,Samuel,Merryman,battery,neck,somebody,girl,custody,children,incident,wifeNote: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights – A Human Rights Issue.

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The blood money trail in the name of “Responsible Fatherhood Initiatives”. Pedophiles, abusers and felons getting sole custody; with Govt.$$

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Family ‘Lawless’ Court Whores.

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MamaLiberty’s Weblog

BADASS BLOGGER

FATHER HOOD

by mamaliberty

Pedophiles, abusers and felons getting sole custody,because everyone in Family Court gets a suckle from the teat of the grants. I’ve followed the blood money trail in the name of “Responsible Fatherhood Initiatives”.

Access and Visitation Grants:

Federal Allocation and State Match

Number of parents that received each service type and the number of States that provided these services in FY 2006

 

State	Federal Allocation	State Match	Total Funding
Alabama	$142,610	$15,846	$158,456
Alaska	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Arizona	$179,474	$19,942	$199,415
Arkansas	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
California	$988,710	$109,857	$1,098,567
Colorado	$130,679	$14,520	$145,199
Connecticut	$101,505	$11,278	$112,783
Delaware	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
District of Columbia	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Florida	$519,757	$57,751	$577,508
Georgia	$272,041	$30,227	$302,267
Guam	$100,000	$0	$100,000
Hawaii	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Idaho	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Illinois	$329,141	$36,571	$365,712
Indiana	$164,289	$18,254	$182,544
Iowa	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Kansas	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Kentucky	$115,835	$12,871	$128,706
Louisiana	$175,073	$19,453	$194,525
Maine	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Maryland	$176,152	$19,572	$195,724
Massachusetts	$171,937	$19,104	$191,041
Michigan	$289,707	$32,190	$321,897
Minnesota	$123,675	$13,742	$137,417
Mississippi	$113,215	$12,579	$125,795
Missouri	$171,130	$19,014	$190,144
Montana	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Nebraska	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Nevada	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
New Hampshire	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
New Jersey	$217,628	$24,181	$241,809
New Mexico	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
New York	$605,368	$67,263	$672,631
North Carolina	$272,566	$30,285	$302,851
North Dakota	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Ohio	$334,160	$37,129	$371,288
Oklahoma	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Oregon	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Pennsylvania	$341,055	$37,895	$378,950
Puerto Rico	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Rhode Island	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
South Carolina	$142,481	$15,831	$158,312
South Dakota	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Tennessee	$178,061	$19,785	$197,845
Texas	$646,627	$71,847	$718,474
Utah	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Vermont	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Virgin Islands	$100,000	$0	$100,000
Virginia	$192,500	$21,389	$213,889
Washington	$171,388	$19,043	$190,431
West Virginia	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Wisconsin	$133,236	$14,804	$148,040
Wyoming	$100,000	$11,111	$111,111
Total	$10,000,000	$1,088,889	$11,088,888

 

 

Posted in activism | Tagged abused children, bad fathers, battered women, corruption, court whores, CPS, custody, cyber stalking, domestic abuse, family court, family court corruption, government corruption, Judges, maternal deprivation, misogynists, mothers, pedophiles, protective parent, restraining orders, violence against women | 1 Comment

Technorati Tags: money,Responsible,Pedophiles,custody,Govt,Weblog,BADASS,BLOGGER,FATHER,June,Court,Visitation,Federal,Allocation,State,Match,Number,services,Total,Alabama,Alaska,Arizona,Arkansas,California,Colorado,Connecticut,Delaware,District,Columbia,Florida,Georgia,Guam,Hawaii,Idaho,Illinois,Indiana,Iowa,Kansas,Kentucky,Louisiana,Maine,Maryland,Massachusetts,Michigan,Minnesota,Mississippi,Missouri,Montana,Nebraska,Nevada,Hampshire,Jersey,Mexico,York,North,Carolina,Dakota,Ohio,Oklahoma,Oregon,Pennsylvania,Puerto,Rico,Rhode,Island,South,Tennessee,Texas,Utah,Vermont,Virgin,Virginia,Washington,West,Wisconsin,children,corruption,government,Judges,deprivation,parent,orders,violence,Comment,felons,Islands,fathers,blood,abusers,womenNote: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Family ‘Lawless’ Court Whores.

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I’m as Mad as Hell, and I’m Not Going to Take This Anymore

Note: Cross posted from [wp ridezstormz] Silent No More!.

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by Justice4Mothers ( another BADASS)

I’m as Mad as Hell, and I’m Not Going to Take This Anymore

Filed under: Activism, Child Custody, Child Custody Battle, Child Support, Child custody for fathers, Children who witness abuse, Claudine Dombrowski, Corrupt Judges, Corrupt Lawyers, Custody Evaluators, Danielle Malmquist, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Relations, Domestic Violence, Family Courts, Fatherhood groups, Fathers Rights, Getting screwed by the politicians, Human Rights, Jeffery Leving, Judges who break the law, Judicial Immunity, Kristin Hanson, Legal abuse, Lynn Rosenthal, Maternal Deprivation, Motherhood, Murder – Suicide, Non-custodial Mothers, Noncustodial Mothers, Protect yourself from FR groups, Shari Andree, Shirley Riggs, Speak Out, Wendy Titelman, Whores of the court — justice4mothers @ 7:39 pm

 

I’m a human being, God dammit.  My life has value.

I’m as mad as Hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore.

Things have got to change.

So many moms are losing their children to their abusers.  The American Judge’s Association knows it.  The National District Attorney’s Association knows it.  The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges know it.  The Acting Director from the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice, Catherine Pierce, knows it.  Why in the hell doesn’t someone actually do something about it? 

What about Wendy Titelman, Claudine Dombrowski, Danielle Malmquist, Shari Andree, Kristin Hanson, Shirley Riggs and the many, many other moms that have been kept from their children for years, children who are now with their abusers or their mother’s abusers.  But more importantly, what about their children?  What the hell about the children?

The courts are filled with father’s rights judges, and if a father fights for custody, he generally gets it.  Abusive fathers are twice as likely to fight for custody, and 70% of the time they get it.  Can you imagine what is it like for a child to be forced to be with their rapist…they are generally drugged into compliance with anti-depressants, etc. to be able to cope.  The courts have set up a whole cottage industry over the corruption, which feeds the corrupt family law lawyers, custody evaluators, mediators, co-parenting counselors, and all your associated Whores of the Court.

Why did President Obama have a Father’s Day function at the White House?  Did he forget we have a Mother’s Day too, or is it another bow to the father’s rights/abuser’s lobby in this country.  Why does he support fatherhood?  Shouldn’t he be supporting parenthood?  Or are mothers just walking wombs to him?  Why would President Obama have a relationship with father’s rights lawyer Jeffery Leving, who was making excuses for fathers murdering families?  I listen to Jeffery Leving’s dad’s rights commercials on WBBM AM-780 in Chicago every night as I go to sleep in my vehicle.   I feel sick as I wonder if I will have enough food to make it though the week.  Then I think of my own children I have not seen in a long, long time…they are with my abuser.  The abuser that takes a chunk of my pay, even though he makes much more than I do.  I worked hard to put myself through college, served in the military for almost eight years.  And I am left to sleep in my car.  And listen to Jeffery Leving’s commercials every night.  Thanks to America’s family courts.

I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!

Mr. President, if you want to talk about what is really going on with family courts, email me at rightsformothers@gmail.com and I will get on the next train to DC to discuss with you.  You need to listen to moms too.

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Technorati Tags: Hell,Take,Activism,Child,Custody,Battle,Support,Children,Claudine,Dombrowski,Corrupt,Judges,Evaluators,Danielle,Malmquist,Domestic,Abuse,Relations,Violence,Courts,Rights,Human,Jeffery,Judicial,Kristin,Hanson,Legal,Lynn,Rosenthal,Maternal,Deprivation,Murder,Suicide,Noncustodial,Protect,Shari,Andree,Shirley,Riggs,Speak,Wendy,Titelman,Whores,life,American,Judge,Association,National,District,Attorney,Council,Juvenile,Court,Director,Office,Against,Women,Department,Justice,Catherine,Pierce,father,Abusive,compliance,cottage,industry,corruption,mediators,President,Obama,White,House,Mother,abuser,Shouldn,relationship,lawyer,WBBM,Chicago,vehicle,food,college,Thanks,America,fathers,Lawyers,counselors,moms,abusersNote: Cross posted from [wp ridezstormz] Silent No More!.

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Assigned to check abuse, social worker impregnates client ;then seeks sole custody of child

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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Assigned to check abuse, social worker impregnates client

Kristyna Wentz-Graff

Theola Nealy of Milwaukee sits on the bed of her 5-year-old daughter, Amy, who no longer lives with her. Her daughter and son were removed from her custody. Another daughter, 1, fathered by social worker Peter Nelsen, is now in Nelsen’s custody. The Milwaukee County district attorney’s office is reviewing the case.

By Crocker Stephenson of the Journal Sentinel

Posted: Aug. 27, 2009

enlarge photo

Kristyna Wentz-Graff

Peter J. Nelsen arrives at the Milwaukee County Courthouse Friday for a hearing on a restraining order against him by Theola Nealy.

more photos

Fatal Care: Fostering reform in child welfare

For complete archived coverage of the story of the death of 13-month-old Christopher L. Thomas Jr. and its catalyst for change in the child welfare bureau, click here.

A state social worker who investigated a report of child abuse for the Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare later had sex with the child’s emotionally troubled mother and impregnated her. He then hid the woman’s pregnancy and the birth of their daughter from the bureau, even as the mother sought to retain custody of two other children, the Journal Sentinel has learned.

The 56-year-old social worker, Peter J. Nelsen, was allowed to resign from the bureau April 15, according to bureau records.

Within months of his resignation, the bureau removed the 1-year-old girl from her mother and placed her in Nelsen’s home. The other children – a 5-year-old girl and a 3-year-old boy – also had been removed.

Nelsen is now seeking sole custody of the 1-year-old.

"Everything that I love is gone," said the 31-year-old mother, Theola Nealy.

Nealy was sit

Technorati Tags: worker,client,custody,Kristyna,Wentz,Graff,Theola,Milwaukee,daughter,Another,Peter,Nelsen,district,attorney,office,Crocker,Stephenson,Journal,Sentinel,photo,Courthouse,Fatal,Care,welfare,coverage,death,Christopher,Thomas,catalyst,bureau,Child,woman,children,April,records,Within,resignation,girl,photosNote: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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Maternal Deprivation Abuse

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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Battered Moms Lose Children to Abusers

 

About BMLCTA-Maternal Deprivation Abuse—batteredmomslosecustody

 

This site is for Mother’s who are re-victimized in Family Court by unethical Judges, Lawyers, GALs, Psychologists, Parenting Coordinators, Etc. who fail to protect children and often even punish the mother for protecting their children who complain of abuse.

Women who were involved with wealthy abusers are frequently subjected to Legal Abuse when attempting to leave an abuser. Children are used as pawns and are being subjected to atrocious treatment by professionals who profiteer off of these court cases.

Abusers are getting unsupervised visitation, joint, and sometimes sole custody of children despite documented histories of abuse to the mother or child or both.

Interviews from the Battered Mother’s Custody Conference

Family Court Crisis – Our Children At Risk

To view the ultimate documentary on this Family Court Custody and Visitation Scandal:
Breaking the Silence- Children’s Stories <-Click this Link!

If you are naive and uniformed you may think that if you go to court and tell the truth everything will be ok. Think again…When women and/or children expose family abuses, especially sexual abuse, they are demonized and vilified as liars. Even when children expose abuse by strangers, they are accused of lying by horrifically unethical attorneys and their colluding psychological so-called experts. If you wonder how this can go on, check out how many defense attorneys are also legislators. They make their living by defending criminals. These unethical psychologists who are the most important part of the defense against abuse accusations also have a hugely powerful lobby and have virtual immunity in child custody cases.

Here is a video of one of the most despicable criminal defense attorneys who is also a federal legislator. Obviously this guy thinks than it is much more important for adult sex offenders to have rights that it is to protect innocent children. It is this mentality that is pervasive in family court that protective parents face when defending against allegations of parental alienation. The abuse that has been suffered by parent and child are discounted and the parental rights of the abusers seem to be the only thing that matters.

Check out this legislator in action regarding Jessica’s law requiring minimum sentencing for sex offenders.

“rip apart” 6-year-old victims on the witness stand and “make sure the rest of their life is ruined.”

In a fiery soliloquy on the House floor, Fagan said he’d grill victims so that, “when they’re 8 years old they throw up; when they’re 12 years old, they won’t sleep; when they’re 19 years old, they’ll have nightmares and they’ll never have a relationship with anybody.”

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

Victims from all over the world need to get the message out about the network of people who “excuse abuse” and falsely accuse protective parents of hypothetical psychological theories in order to facilitate a change of custody to the abusive parent or grant visitation when it is not in the child’s best interest. Please send your story of defending your child from an abuser to ParentalAlienationFraud@gmail.com.

Spread the word using Rating sites to anonymously give information on the Judges, Mental Health Professionals, and Lawyer/GAL/Mediators, etc. and anyone else involved in the case.  Distinction in Family Courts conducts studies, has a questionnaire, and is involved in class action to clean up the family court system.

Rate Judges:
Courthouse Forum
Jail 4 Judges
Jail 4 Judges Florida

Rate the Courts

Robe Probe
The Robing Room

Rate Mental Health Professionals:
Rate MDs  – Good site to post reviews
PsychReview – UK
Therapist Ratings

Rate Lawyers/GALs/Mediators, etc.

Lawyer Ratings – Where You Are The Judge – Good site to post reviews
AVVO – Does not seem to be posting these reviews. hmmmm…. UPDATE: Has not ever posted a real review!

Not every post on this blog specifically relates to a battered mother, but they generally relate to court injustice, the fraud of psychological testimony, and maltreatment of women and/or children, especially Maternal Deprivation Abuse (MDA).

Maternal Deprivation Research

There have been numerous studies regarding Maternal Deprivation, with a large source of information coming from Bowlby, based on Spitz and Goldfarb, and also from unethical animal experimentation. Overwhelmingly, research shows that severing this natural bond between a mother and child causes severe emotional and behavioral problems, such as depression and psychosis. The phrase maternal deprivation is the terminology used in the early work of psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, John Bowlby on the effects of separating infants and young children from their mother. Some of the research was previously used to discourage mothers from working or using childcare, but it seems important to revive these studies as children are being deprived of their mothers intentionally by abusive men who claim to be “parentally alienated” in an ongoing scandal that rivals that of the Catholic Priest sexual abuse cover up.  

Maternal Deprivation Abuse (MDA), has been identified as occurring with great frequency in legal proceedings, with specific unethical lawyers, psychologists, and judges perpetrating the the same scam on mother after mother with similar horrific results for the children. There has been death by suicide, suicide attempts, depression, academic distress, retaliation by a child against a PAS claiming father, and untold misery for the victimized children and mothers.

Based on Bolwby’s theories, Maternally Deprivation affects children as follows:

• Complete or almost complete deprivation could “entirely cripple the capacity to make relationships.”
• Partial deprivation could result in acute anxiety, depression, neediness and powerful emotions which the child could not regulate.
• The end product of such psychic disturbance could be neurosis and instability of character.(Bowlby J. (1951) pps. 11–12)

“Mother love in infancy and childhood is as important for mental health as are vitamins and proteins for physical health.” (Bowlby, 1953.)  Child psychoanalyst John Bowlby (1907–1990).

Maternal Deprivation Abuse

Maternal Deprivation, or Motherlessness, is occurring with alarming frequency due to the unethical treatment of women and children in family court. Maternal Deprivation is inflicting abuse by severing the mother-child bond. It is a form of abuse that men inflict on both the mother and children, especially men who claim they are “parentally alienated” from their children when there are complaints of abusive treatment by the father.

Maternal Deprivation occurs when men seek to keep their children from being raised by their mothers who are the children’s natural caretakers. Some men murder the mothers of their own children. Others seek to sever the maternal bonds by making false allegations of fictitious psychological syndromes in a deliberate effort to change custody and/or keep the child from having contact with their mother when there are legal proceedings. A twisted form of Maternal Deprivation is to kill the children, so that the mother will be left to suffer. Sometimes there are family annihilationmurders where the father kills the children and himself (or dies by cop), but the mother is not killed because she has received protective orders and her children have not as in the case of Jessica Gonzales.  

In seeking to define this form of abuse certain common elements are found in the Maternal Deprivation scenario as follows:

• History of domestic abuse that could be physical, psychological, sexual, and/or social abuse occurring on or off again, occasionally, or chronically which could be mild, moderate, or severe, including homicidal and/or suicidal threats.
• Legal proceedings relating to abuse
• Hiring of “Fathers Rights” attorney
• Use of “Hired Gun” mental health professionals to make accusations of psychological disorder against the mother and children in deliberate effort to excuse abuse and change custody or grant visitation that is contrary to safety concerns. Another name for these unethical professionals are “Whores of the Courts“ as they are called by Margaret Hagen PhD in the book by the same title exposing the fraud of psychological testimony.
• Raising claims of “psychological disorders” against the mother such as “Parental Alienation Syndrome” (PAS), Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome, Malicious Mother Syndrome, Lying Litigant Syndrome, Hostile Aggressive Parenting or any other mother-blaming psychological disorder that can be used by the unethical professional to re-victimize the victims.
• Infliction of “Legal Abuse” by continually and excessively filing motions so that the mother continually has to defend herself and her child(ren) causing financial and emotional devastation.
• Can occur in response to child support legal proceedings as retaliation.

The intent of “Maternal Deprivation” is to punish the mother and the child for revealing the abuse and to falsely claim that they are not abusive. This very commonly occurs as there are more and more “abuse-excuse” parental alienation accusing professionals who use this scientifically invalid theory over and over to achieve specific goals of the person paying them. Maternal Deprivation can also occur in response to child support legal proceedings. When occurring in this manner, Maternal Deprivation is a response to the financial demands as retaliation. Suddenly the father who had little prior involvement wants to take the kids half the time to avoid child support obligations, etc. When the men are really abusive, they ask for sole custody and demand the mother of the child pay them.

Although some people call this “Maternal Alienation”, a distinction needs to be made as the pro-pedophilia “Parental Alienation Syndrome” and the use of the word “Alienation” are most often used AGAINST battered women and abused children. There needs to be a distinction between the phony psychological syndrome and the intentional infliction of abuse on a mother and child by intentionally severing their natural bond. This distinction can best be made by NOT using the label of “Alienation” which will always be associated with the pro-pedophilia monster Doctor Richard Gardner.

Some of the characteristics of the especially heinous abusers who inflict Maternal Deprivation include but are not limited to the following:

• Angry

• Abusive

• Violent

• Coercive

• Controlling

• Threatening

• Intimidating

• Demanding

• Domineering

• Harassing

• Stalking

• Tyrannical

• Oppressive

• Forceful

• Manipulative

• Deceptive

• Unethical

• Un-empathetic (Lacks Empathy)

• Entitled

• Immature

• Self-centered

• Neglectful

• Guilt inducing

• Pushy

• Intentionally tries to humiliate mother and/or child
• Harsh, rigid and punitive parenting style
• Outrage at child’s challenge of authority
• May use force to reassert parental position
• Dismissive of child’s feelings and negative attitudes
• Vents rage, blames mother for “brainwashing” child and takes no responsibility
• Challenges child’s beliefs and/or attitudes and tries to convince them otherwise
• Inept and unempathic pursuit of child, pushes calls and letters, unannounced or embarrassing visits

There is a distinct overlap of the intimate terrorist type domestic violence abuser with the Maternal Deprivation abusers as follows:

• Coercion and threats
• Intimidation
• Emotional abuse
• Isolation
• Minimizing, denying and blaming (Hallmarks of PAS)
• Using children
• Economic abuse
• Male privilege

The people who most often engage in Maternal Deprivation Abuse are most often: 

• Abusive men

• Vindictive second wives who don’t want to deal with the real mother of the children

• Paternal grandparents who raised dysfunctional children (abusers)

The effects of Maternal Deprivation often cause the children to become psychotic, depressed, and sometimes suicidal or to have suicidal ideations. Another terrible reaction is when the child retaliates against the parent who accuses Parental Alienation Syndrome as in a Texas case where the child killed his father. Other times when the Maternal Deprivation abuser completely takes over the will of the child by using brainwashing techniques similar to those used in prison camps where deprivation and isolation are used to force ideological changes in captives, these children often have a sort of trauma-bonding with the abuser and model their behavior. Sometimes these children will also abuse the mother in the same manner as the father. Another generation is created to carry on the abuse, and will likely do the same to their own spouse and children.

Check out this video on unethical Maternal Deprivation

And more from Bowlby’s Studies:

http://www.pep-web.org/document.php?id=APA.011.0500A

(1963). Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 11:500-541

Pathological Mourning and Childhood Mourning

John Bowlby, M.D.

THIS IS the fifth in a series of papers in which I am exploring the theoretical implications of the behavior to be observed when young children are removed from the mother figures to whom they are attached and are placed with strangers. The thesis I am advancing is twofold: “first, that once the child has formed a tie to a mother-figure, which has ordinarily occurred by the middle of the first year, its rupture leads to separation anxiety and grief and sets in train processes of mourning; secondly, that in the early years of life these mourning processes not infrequently take a course unfavourable to future personality development and thereby predispose to psychiatric illness.” Since in earlier papers I have discussed the theory of separation anxiety and mourning, it is to the second part of the thesis that this and later papers are directed.

In the preceding paper “Processes of Mourning” (5) reasons were given for dividing healthy mourning, whether it occurs in human infants

[This is a summary or excerpt from the full text of the book or article. The full text of the document is available to subscribers.]

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The Mommy blog-The Crucial importance of mothers.

Note: Cross posted from [wp ridezstormz] Silent No More!.

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This common sense attachment info needs to be made public and widely circulated -  It seems that we now need to restate the obvious.

Everyone in the field of early childhood education and child growth and development understand the role of mothers and infants and the bond.  the fatherhood movement isn’t even based in common sense, let alone scientific studies.  I wish more educated people would speak up…then again, people really don’t know what’s going on..

 

http://mommyerin. blogspot. com/2009/ 08/why-do- i.html

Why do I…

…keep my babies with me all the time? As in, why don’t I leave them with babysitters, or drop them off at daycare or at least a mother’s morning out, take trips without them, or even leave them with my husband when I want to go out shopping for a few hours?

The short answer: I’d miss them too much. That and the whole feeding issue.

The long answer:

Biologically, mothers and babies belong together, as one unit. The mother remains the primary habitat for the baby beyond the months of pregnancy. Her body continues to completely nourish the baby for at least the first six months, and then should continue to be the main source of nutrition for at least the next ix months. The baby forms its primary attachment to the mother by being in close constant contact with her.

One of La Leche League’s ten belief statements is as follows: "In the early years, the baby has an intense need to be with his mother which is as basic as his need for food." So it is not just about nutrition. Nutrition may be what helps begin the bonding of mother and baby: baby must eat frequently, and mother keeps him close. they experience skin-to-skin contact through nursing, and they begin to form a bond. The baby is learning about love and life from his mother – who he thinks he is actually a part of – through the physical closeness. He is learning to trust, and that consistent person being there all the time for him brings him security. This is what "attachment" is all about.

A baby first becomes attached to his mother, and she to him, in these early months. But the LLL statement above said the early years. This means that baby is not suddenly ready to spend a lot less time with his mother once he hits the end of his first year. The statement is vague on the exact number of years since that will vary from child to child. Independence from the mother is not something that can be forced on a child – it is a gradual process.

Personally, it seems to me that a child any less than about 18-24 months old is not going to understand about long separations from his mother. Some mothers have to work eight hours a day – yes, this is a reality for some. But it is not ideal, in my opinion. As unpopular as it may be for me to say this, I think babies and young children should be at home with their mothers. This is the person they were designed to be with for the vast majority of the time in their early years, and it has been shown to be optimal for their well-being.

Some people say that a mother who will not release her baby or toddler into the care of others is being "overprotective." They try to make it about the mother’s needs more than the child’s needs. So many mothers are brushed off, saying, "Oh, he doesn’t need you – it sounds like you’re the one who is needy!" True, a mother does feel a need to be with her nursing baby, because of the need to feed him, and also because of the bond that is there. But most mothers – myself included – are genuinely concerned for their baby’s well-being in wanting to keep him close. This is not to say that other people are incompetent and can’t care for a baby properly (like great Aunt Ethel who’s been after you to keep the baby for a couple days while you go out of town)… just that the mother believes that it is in the baby’s best interest to remain with his mother.

This reaction is somewhat understandable in our culture. We are basically taught through our experiences that toddlers, even infants, who cry for their mothers are spoiled and trying to manipulate them. That mothers are replaceable by any child care provider, at any age, and for any length of time. That toddlers who don’t fall asleep alone are going to have horrible sleep problems in the future. So, I don’t fault people who say, "You need to get a break from that baby!" They usually don’t mean any harm – it is just ingrained in our culture, the same way any old lady who sees you with your baby in a store will ask you, "Is he a good baby?"

Babies lack object permanence. When a baby’s mother leaves, he does not understand that she will be back. His brain isn’t developed to the point of knowing that once she is out of sight, she still exists. It as if she has ceased to exist. The longer the separation, the harder it is on the baby. The baby can even begin to mourn for his mother as if she were dead (I wish I remember where I had read that so I could quote it directly). Even as babies gain object permanence – realizing that things still exist even when not in sight – they still think they are a part of the mother. They don’t begin to really view themselves as separate for a while still.

The brain grows at a tremendous rate in the first three years – faster than at any other time. This is especially so in the first two years. So many connections are being made (or not) at this time. The combination of breastmilk and nurturing have been shown to be very important in brain development.

I want to share some quotes on this topic now… the first set of quotes come from Kippley’s writings on the First Three Years:

Hugh Riordan, Specialist in Human Communications and Director of The Olive W. Garvey Center of Human Functioning, says, "There are six reactions of children to separation when the mother is not around her child. The pattern may be 1) depression, 2) agitation or distress, 3) rejection, 4) apathy, 5) regression or 6) clinging. Why would a mother do that to her child?. . . When can a child withstand separation from the mother? Up to two years of age is a high anxiety time; from two to three years of age is a lesser anxiety time. This varies with the individual."

Sheila Kippley, in her booklet The Crucial First Three Years, writes, "William Gairdner in his book, The War Against the Family,22 pointed out that three separate research studies conducted at three different major universities all clearly showed that what babies and young children need is l) mother’s availability, 2) mother’s responsiveness to her child’s need for comfort and protection, and 3) mother’s sensitivity to her child’s signals. In other words, the mother has to be there, she has to read the signals of her baby, and she has to respond to her baby in a sensitive manner. Gairdner claims that there is unanimity on this important point: “poorly attached children are sociopaths in the making.” To avoid poorly attached children, one key is good mothering. According to Gairdner, the keys to good mothering, then, are these: availability, responsiveness, and sensitivity. Gairdner also states that “young children need an uninterrupted, intimate, and continuous connection with their mothers, especially in the very early months and years.” With prolonged breastfeeding, the mother has an uninterrupted and continuous relationship with her baby and it’s an intimate relationship as well."

Robert Lee Hotz, in his article “Study: Babies May Need Hugs to Develop Brain,” wrote, “Scientists have known for decades that maternal deprivation can mark children for life with serious behavioral problems, leaving them withdrawn, apathetic, slow to learn, and prone to chronic illness. . . Moreover, new animal research reveals that without the attention of a loving caregiver early in life, some of an infant’s brain cells simply commit suicide.” Mark Smith, a psychologist at the DuPont Merck Research Labs commented, “These cells are committing suicide. Let this be a warning to us humans. The effects of maternal deprivation may be much more profound than we had imagined.”

Harold Voth, M.D., said in the Medical Times in November 1980 (so this is not new stuff!), “A baby must have a mother, a mother who is mature enough to attend to its needs and provide so-called object constancy for a minimum of three years… The mothering function is one of the most important of all human events but, unfortunately, one of the least appreciated or regarded by society.” So true that stay-at-home moms are undervalued in our culture…

This one is from Maria Montessori in The Absorbent Mind: “Mother and child are inseparable… For the mother has to feed her child, and therefore she cannot leave him at home when she goes out. To this need for food is added their mutual fondness and love. In this way, the child’s need for nutrition, and the love that unites these two beings, both combine in solving the problem of the child’s adaptation to the world, and this happens in the most natural way possible. Mother and child are one. Except where civilization has broken down this custom, no mother ever entrusts her child to someone else… Another point is the custom of prolonging the period of maternal feeding. Sometimes this lasts for a year and a half; sometimes for two, or even three years. This has nothing to do with the child’s nutritional needs, because for some time he has been able to assimilate other kinds of food; but prolonged lactation requires the mother to remain with her child, and this satisfies her unconscious need to give her offspring the help of a full social life on which to construct his mind.”

There are lots more great quotes at the link above… I won’t post them all here. If you are interested, go read more!

The chapter in the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding titled "Making a Choice" is a good read regarding mother-baby togetherness and the importance of that early relationship between the two. Among other things, it discusses how a young child shows classic signs of grief when separated from his mother. Humberto Nagera, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Montana, is quoted as saying, "When the child is confronted with his mother’s absence his automatic response is an anxiety state that on many occasions reaches overwhelming proportions. Repeated traumas of this type in susceptible children will not fail to have serious consequences for their later development. .. No other animal species will subject their infants to experiences that they are not endowed to cope with, except the human animal."

I believe it was in a Dr. Sears book where I read that he thought it was best if children didn’t spend the night away from their parents until they were at least three. That resonated with me way back when I read it, because it immediately brought to mind my own childhood. I am the oldest of four. I don’t ever remember my parents leaving us overnight when we were very young (obviously I might not remember this myself, but I would remember for my brothers since they are younger). My mom has told me about the first time I stayed overnight with somebody else – her parents. I have very vague memories of going camping with them. This happened the week before I turned three. Then, the next time my parents went somewhere and had us stay at a friend’s house for a few nights was when Tim, my youngest brother, was about three or four years old. I think all four of us stayed with the Tramontes for those few days (they had five kids, so it probably didn’t make much of a difference to them to have all of us there too!). Anyway, I just want to say thanks, Mom and Dad!

Of final note: it could be argued that children under the age of three probably won’t remember any of it in the future, so it doesn’t matter if they aren’t with their mother. But the science shows otherwise. The child may not remember, but the imprint of his early years follows him.

I hope this post is coherent – I wrote it in several sittings and want to go to bed now since it is after 11, so I am not proofreading it tonight. Hope it all makes sense!

__._,_.___

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